this is a question i wish i’d asked a coworker months ago. she came to work with a black eye and said she didn’t want to talk about it. i asked her if she was okay and she said she was. i thought about going further and specifically asking if she was safe at home, but she said she was okay and it was an uncomfortable situation already so i let it drop. i figured, hell, she’s a public health nurse working in mental health, she definitely knows what to do in the case of violence or abuse at home, and she definitely has access to the resources to help people living with abuse, so she probably is fine.
well, today she told us her husband has been beating her and he just entered treatment and that’s whats been going on with her for the past several months. she cried and assured us she was fine, but it’s not fine. it’s nowhere fucking close to fine.
please, if the question even so much as crosses your mind, ask it. ask it specifically, no matter how uncomfortable it is for you, no matter how smart or healthy you think the person is. ask.

i keep talking about how i’m doing tumblr differently to keep it more consistent with my true self, and i just decided i don’t want to find out who unfollows me. i’m sure i’ll notice when my follower count drops, but i’ll leave it at that. a long time ago a wise friend taught me that what other people think of me is none of my business, and living by this idea has served me really well. so i think i’ll practice this principle here by refraining from checking my unfollows. of course i care, but it’s not something i want to consider when i’m posting, so best to just keep it out of my head entirely.

this is zoë. i don’t have many pictures of her on this computer, and it’s sort of hard to see her in pics anyway because she’s all black. she was twenty years old and blind and in the early stages of kidney failure. her world had shrunk to an area of about five square feet around her food and the couch. i’d had her since i was 21. i miss her, but it was definitely time to let her go.

i’ve picked up something to this effect via fb, tumblr, and twitter. i have no idea what the story is, and i’m glad i don’t know, and i’m not going to seek out any further information on the matter.